Heat

I cannot for the life of me understand the countries obsession with this god-forsaken weather. Yes, theres the sun, oh my, isn't it yellow. And warm too, yes, look I can actually see you turning redder and redder, now you are a deep shade of crimson and your skin is now blistering with the heat, there is a shocking difference between your arms and your torso, you look like you are composed of several people and one of them was thrown on a barbecue. 

This will give you cancer in later life. You should be so proud.

Heat is basically despicably uncomfortable. You sweat and you smell and tiny things like walking up the stairs or doing the washing up are transformed into insurmountable obstacles, that leave you exhausted and sticky. It burns any skin you reveal, and you have to reveal skin because its so bloody hot. Add in humidity and its like being gently cooked in a kind of soup, and still you reckon its a good thing. 

Are you all insane?

You need to remember how much more pleasant it is when there are breezes and clouds, my dears. It's good for your mental health.